Mullet madness comes to Stirling

Mar 10 2010 by Gregor White, Stirling Observer Wednesday

TO most of us “mullet” means just one thing – or possibly two.

It is of course a type of fish, but the word is probably more associated in the public mind with that distinctive eighties hairstyle long in the back and short on top.

For Simon Varwell, though, the word became his passport to worldwide adventure when he discovered it was also a common place name around the globe, and came up with a crazy plan to visit as many of them as he could.

His earliest adventures – to Albania, Ireland and Australia – are now recounted in his first book, which he is due to talk about at Stirling’s Waterstone’s tomorrow night (Thursday).

“Up the Creek Without a Mullet” tells how Simon’s obsession with the much-mocked haircut began while travelling through eastern Europe in his student days where it was a common sight.

The idea for a worldwide “mullet tour” came by chance during a quiet afternoon at work after some idle internet surfing revealed the existence of a village of that name in Albania, others following thick and fast as his search began in earnest.

Originally from Benbecula and now living in Inverness Simon (31) has clocked up several more mullets since the book first appeared and says it has been worth every moment, despite many people thinking he’s mad.

Claiming to be visited by “what if...” moments “almost constantly” he said: “All I've done is follow through with one of my ideas.

“I'd urge anyone else with an idea in their head to stop wondering and go and do it – it's incredibly rewarding as you visit the most amazing places and meet some wonderful people.”

Admitting his mullet mission, which began in 2003, has been “a drain on time, holidays, money” he insisted it has also been hugely rewarding in other ways.

For one thing, he said, writing about his adventures had “got some creative juices flowing”, throwing up a few fiction ideas that he might work on in the future.

For now, though, there are many more mullets to document, Simon having clocked up further trips to England, Canada, New Zealand and the USA.

“Then there's the remaining 14 mullets I've yet to visit and who knows what will happen with them, or even if I'll make it out to them all?” he said.

“Some of them are pretty inaccessible – I've already failed to get to two mullets on my trips, and remaining mullets include ones in Haiti and the Falkland Islands.”

Simon has set himself a limit of 28 places to visit, admitting that it had turned out to be a far more popular place name than anticipated.

“My plea used to be to receive news of any new mullets, but latterly it became a plea not to hear about any!” he said.

“It became like trying to kill the Hydra – I'd find one mullet, perhaps visit it and gain some publicity, and several others would come out of the woodwork as a result.

“There was no particular significance for stopping at 28, other than that I need to get to the end of this somehow, and a limit was needed in order to make this a bit easier.”

Single when he started his mission Simon is now a married man and claims his wife is more than tolerant of his obsession.

“She thinks the idea's great, especially the prospect of coming with me to the intended next one – Bermuda: a much more palatable holiday suggestion than some of the other remaining mullets, such as the one in Haiti.”

Summing up the attraction of it all he added: “Justifying it to myself is easy – it's a chance to visit places I (and, often, your average tourist) wouldn't normally choose to, or have the chance to, visit, see some amazing sights and meet some wonderful people along the way.

“Justifying it to others isn't something I feel I need to do, though I would happily recommend it.

“Picking up a silly idea and running with it is great fun and you don't know where you'll end up.”

Simon will be at Waterstone’s in the Thistles Centre, Stirling, tomorrow from 6.30pm.